Old Joe was known throughout three counties for one thing\u2014his prize breeding bull, Big Red.<\/p>\n
If anyone asked Joe how business was going, he’d puff out his chest and proudly declare,<\/p>\n
“Business? Son, people drive for miles just to use my bull! Every cattle farmer around here wants him. I charge top dollar, and he’s booked almost every single day.”<\/p>\n
His neighbor, Hank, laughed.<\/p>\n
“Come on, Joe. You’re telling me one bull is really that special?”<\/p>\n
Joe folded his arms and grinned.<\/p>\n
“Special? Big Red has appointments at five different farms today. If I give him one day off, my phone rings off the hook with people asking when he’s available again!”<\/p>\n
Hank shook his head.<\/p>\n
“I’ve got to see this miracle animal for myself.”<\/p>\n
That afternoon, Hank wandered over to Joe’s pasture expecting to find a massive, muscular bull standing proudly, snorting, pawing the ground, and looking ready for another day’s work.<\/p>\n
Instead, he found Big Red stretched flat on the grass beneath an old oak tree.<\/p>\n
The famous bull barely moved.<\/p>\n
His eyes were half closed.<\/p>\n
His tongue hung out.<\/p>\n
Every few seconds he let out a long, exhausted sigh.<\/p>\n
Hank couldn’t believe it.<\/p>\n
He leaned over the fence and called out,<\/p>\n
“Hey, Big Red!”<\/p>\n
The bull slowly opened one eye.<\/p>\n
“Aren’t you supposed to be visiting five farms today?”<\/p>\n
Big Red groaned.<\/p>\n
“I am…”<\/p>\n
“Then why are you lying there like you’ve run a marathon?”<\/p>\n
The bull sighed so deeply that a nearby bird flew off the fence.<\/p>\n
“My friend… after years in this business, it’s not the work that wears you out.”<\/p>\n
Hank scratched his head.<\/p>\n
“Then what is?”<\/p>\n
The bull slowly lifted his head and looked around to make sure Joe wasn’t listening.<\/p>\n
Then he whispered,<\/p>\n
“Keeping all those jealous husbands happy.”<\/p>\n
Hank blinked.<\/p>\n
“Jealous husbands?”<\/p>\n
Big Red nodded.<\/p>\n
“You’d think they’d understand it’s just business.”<\/p>\n
“But every time I show up, there’s always one old bull standing across the fence giving me that look.”<\/p>\n
“What look?”<\/p>\n
“The ‘Don’t get too comfortable around my ladies’ look.”<\/p>\n
Hank burst out laughing.<\/p>\n
“I never thought about that!”<\/p>\n
Big Red continued,<\/p>\n
“Last week one chased me halfway across a pasture.”<\/p>\n
“The week before that, another spent an hour trying to knock down the fence.”<\/p>\n
“And yesterday one followed the trailer all the way to the gate just glaring at me.”<\/p>\n
Hank could barely breathe from laughing.<\/p>\n
“So the cows aren’t the problem?”<\/p>\n
“The cows are lovely,” Big Red replied.<\/p>\n
“It’s their husbands that make the job stressful.”<\/p>\n
Just then Joe walked over carrying a bucket of grain.<\/p>\n
“There you are, Big Red! Time to head to another farm.”<\/p>\n
Big Red didn’t move.<\/p>\n
Joe frowned.<\/p>\n
“What’s wrong with you?”<\/p>\n
The bull slowly looked at Hank.<\/p>\n
Then back at Joe.<\/p>\n
With one final dramatic sigh, he stood up, stretched every muscle in his body, and muttered,<\/p>\n
“I suppose it’s time to go make another husband question his self-esteem.”<\/p>\n
Joe looked confused.<\/p>\n
“What was that?”<\/p>\n
Big Red smiled.<\/p>\n
“Oh… nothing.”<\/p>\n
He climbed into the trailer like a tired old employee punching in for another shift.<\/p>\n
As the truck pulled away, Hank stood at the fence shaking his head.<\/p>\n
“I always thought that bull had the easiest job in the county.”<\/p>\n
Joe laughed proudly.<\/p>\n
“He does!”<\/p>\n
From inside the trailer came one final voice.<\/p>\n
“Easiest job?”<\/p>\n
“You try being the most unpopular guy in five different neighborhoods before dinner!”<\/p>\n
Even Joe couldn’t help laughing.<\/p>\n
From that day on, whenever anyone bragged about Big Red’s busy schedule, Hank would simply smile and say,<\/p>\n
“Trust me… that bull has earned every nap he’s ever taken.”<\/p>\n
And somewhere down the road, Big Red was probably introducing himself to another suspicious old bull who was convinced his wife had suddenly become very interested in the fence.<\/p>\n
The life of a famous breeding bull wasn’t glamorous after all\u2014it was just one awkward introduction after another!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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