The Trap is Sprung
\n\u2026 IT EXPLODE PINK INK EVERYWHERE?!\u201d<\/p>\n
I couldn\u2019t help the slow, wicked smile that spread across my freshly painted lips. I leaned against the kitchen counter, admiring my flawless manicure, and took a deep breath before answering.<\/p>\n
\u201cI didn’t make it do anything, Max,\u201d I replied smoothly. \u201cI just ordered the premium karma package online. Does it clash with your tie?\u201d<\/p>\n
The detail Max didn\u2019t know was simple: I knew everything.<\/p>\n
For the past six months, my husband had been carrying on a secret affair with the bride-to-be, my “old college friend,” Elise. I had uncovered their disgusting little secret weeks ago after finding a string of deleted emails on our shared iPad.<\/p>\n
The original plan was brilliant in its simplicity. The beautifully wrapped “wedding gift” sitting on the entryway table wasn’t a set of crystal champagne flutes. It was a bound portfolio containing every single screenshot, hotel receipt, and text message between the two of them. My goal had been to slip it quietly onto the gift table, knowing the groom, a notoriously thorough accountant, would open it the next morning.<\/p>\n
But Max had always been paranoid.<\/p>\n
When Elise inevitably panicked and called him this morning\u2014likely realizing I had RSVP\u2019d ‘Yes’ while he declined\u2014Max must have put two and two together. He assumed the giant silver box on the table was the smoking gun. He rushed out, stole my car to beat me to the venue, and clearly tried to rip open the box on the highway to destroy the evidence.<\/p>\n
What Max didn’t know was that I had anticipated his cowardice.<\/p>\n
The Decoy
\nThe box he stole was a decoy. I had purchased a high-grade, spring-loaded glitter and dye bomb designed for package thieves. The real evidence had already been delivered to the groom’s suite via a certified overnight courier, marked \u201cUrgent: Open Before Vows.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMy suit is ruined! The leather seats are ruined! I look like a radioactive flamingo!\u201d Max shrieked through the speakerphone, the sound of honking cars echoing in the background. \u201cElise is going to kill me! I have to get to the church to stop her from opening the real gift!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOh, honey,\u201d I cooed, dropping my voice to a whisper. \u201cYou\u2019re far too late for that. The groom received his package at 10:00 AM. And knowing David, he\u2019s probably reading his bride’s texts to the entire wedding party right about now.\u201d<\/p>\n
Dead silence hung on the line, save for the ragged sound of Max\u2019s breathing.<\/p>\n
\u201cAs for the car,\u201d I continued cheerfully, \u201cit\u2019s under my name, but I\u2019ll be billing you for the detailing. Or the replacement. Whichever costs more. The kids and I are going to get pizza. Have a beautiful wedding, Max.\u201d<\/p>\n
I hung up, blocked his number, and turned to the stairs.<\/p>\n
\u201cKids!\u201d I called out, my mood lighter than it had been in months. \u201cChange of plans! Grab your coats, we\u2019re going to the arcade!\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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