A WOMAN FROM MONTANA WENT TO HER DOCTOR WORRIED ABOUT HER HUSBAND’S COMPLETE LACK OF INTEREST IN ROMANCE.<\/p>\n
For nearly three years, Earl had shown absolutely no interest in affection.<\/p>\n
No date nights.<\/p>\n
No flirting.<\/p>\n
No romantic gestures.<\/p>\n
Nothing.<\/p>\n
At first, Martha assumed it was stress.<\/p>\n
Then age.<\/p>\n
Then stubbornness.<\/p>\n
But eventually she became convinced something had to be done.<\/p>\n
So she made an appointment with her doctor.<\/p>\n
After explaining the situation, the doctor asked a simple question.<\/p>\n
\u201cHave you tried getting him to take Viagra?\u201d<\/p>\n
Martha laughed so hard she nearly fell out of the chair.<\/p>\n
\u201cDoctor, that man won’t even take an aspirin.\u201d<\/p>\n
The doctor smiled.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo problem.\u201d<\/p>\n
Martha looked skeptical.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat do you mean, no problem?\u201d<\/p>\n
The doctor leaned forward.<\/p>\n
\u201cJust give him some Montana Viagra.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMontana Viagra?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat’s right.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat in the world is that?\u201d<\/p>\n
The doctor grinned.<\/p>\n
\u201cCrush the pill into his morning coffee. He’ll never know it’s there.\u201d<\/p>\n
Martha wasn’t entirely convinced.<\/p>\n
But after several more months of Earl spending more time with his fishing equipment than his wife, she decided to try it.<\/p>\n
The following Saturday morning, she woke up early.<\/p>\n
Carefully crushed the pill.<\/p>\n
Mixed it into Earl’s coffee.<\/p>\n
And sat down at their favorite caf\u00e9 for breakfast.<\/p>\n
Everything seemed perfectly normal.<\/p>\n
At first.<\/p>\n
Earl sipped his coffee.<\/p>\n
Read the newspaper.<\/p>\n
Ordered pancakes.<\/p>\n
Martha started thinking maybe the doctor had no idea what he was talking about.<\/p>\n
Then Earl suddenly lowered the newspaper.<\/p>\n
His eyes widened.<\/p>\n
\u201cMartha?\u201d<\/p>\n
She looked up.<\/p>\n
\u201cYes?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHave I ever told you how beautiful you are?\u201d<\/p>\n
She nearly dropped her fork.<\/p>\n
In thirty-eight years of marriage, Earl had never said anything remotely like that in public.<\/p>\n
A few customers glanced over.<\/p>\n
Martha blushed.<\/p>\n
\u201cEarl, what are you doing?\u201d<\/p>\n
But he wasn’t finished.<\/p>\n
He grabbed her hand.<\/p>\n
Stood up.<\/p>\n
Pulled her toward him.<\/p>\n
And before she could react, he kissed her right in the middle of the caf\u00e9.<\/p>\n
People started clapping.<\/p>\n
The waitress cheered.<\/p>\n
Someone whistled.<\/p>\n
Martha turned bright red.<\/p>\n
\u201cSit down!\u201d she whispered.<\/p>\n
Earl laughed.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy?\u201d<\/p>\n
Then things became even worse.<\/p>\n
Or better.<\/p>\n
Depending on your perspective.<\/p>\n
He swept everything off their table.<\/p>\n
The syrup.<\/p>\n
The napkins.<\/p>\n
The sugar packets.<\/p>\n
Everything.<\/p>\n
Then pulled Martha onto his lap.<\/p>\n
The entire restaurant erupted with laughter.<\/p>\n
A teenager nearly choked on his orange juice.<\/p>\n
The manager dropped a tray.<\/p>\n
And poor Martha wanted the floor to swallow her whole.<\/p>\n
Eventually she managed to drag Earl back into the truck and get him home.<\/p>\n
The next week she called the doctor.<\/p>\n
The moment he answered, she sounded completely panicked.<\/p>\n
\u201cDoctor, it was terrible!\u201d<\/p>\n
The doctor immediately became concerned.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat happened?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDid he get sick?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo!\u201d<\/p>\n
she shouted.<\/p>\n
\u201cHe grabbed me right there on the kitchen table!\u201d<\/p>\n
The doctor paused.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, isn’t that what you wanted?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMaybe.\u201d<\/p>\n
Martha sighed dramatically.<\/p>\n
\u201cBut now we can never show our faces in that caf\u00e9 again!\u201d<\/p>\n
The doctor sat silently for a moment.<\/p>\n
Then burst out laughing.<\/p>\n
So hard he had to put down the phone.<\/p>\n
As for Earl?<\/p>\n
To this day, he still insists the pancakes were the best he’d ever tasted.<\/p>\n
And every time someone mentions that little caf\u00e9 in town, Martha changes the subject immediately.<\/p>\n
Because some reputations take years to build.<\/p>\n
And only one cup of coffee to destroy.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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