A WOMAN FROM MONTANA WENT TO HER DOCTOR WORRIED ABOUT HER HUSBAND’S COMPLETE LACK OF INTEREST IN ROMANCE.
For nearly three years, Earl had shown absolutely no interest in affection.
No date nights.
No flirting.
No romantic gestures.
Nothing.
At first, Martha assumed it was stress.
Then age.
Then stubbornness.
But eventually she became convinced something had to be done.
So she made an appointment with her doctor.
After explaining the situation, the doctor asked a simple question.
“Have you tried getting him to take Viagra?”
Martha laughed so hard she nearly fell out of the chair.
“Doctor, that man won’t even take an aspirin.”
The doctor smiled.
“No problem.”
Martha looked skeptical.
“What do you mean, no problem?”
The doctor leaned forward.
“Just give him some Montana Viagra.”
“Montana Viagra?”
“That’s right.”
“What in the world is that?”
The doctor grinned.
“Crush the pill into his morning coffee. He’ll never know it’s there.”
Martha wasn’t entirely convinced.
But after several more months of Earl spending more time with his fishing equipment than his wife, she decided to try it.
The following Saturday morning, she woke up early.
Carefully crushed the pill.
Mixed it into Earl’s coffee.
And sat down at their favorite café for breakfast.
Everything seemed perfectly normal.
At first.
Earl sipped his coffee.
Read the newspaper.
Ordered pancakes.
Martha started thinking maybe the doctor had no idea what he was talking about.
Then Earl suddenly lowered the newspaper.
His eyes widened.
“Martha?”
She looked up.
“Yes?”
“Have I ever told you how beautiful you are?”
She nearly dropped her fork.
In thirty-eight years of marriage, Earl had never said anything remotely like that in public.
A few customers glanced over.
Martha blushed.
“Earl, what are you doing?”
But he wasn’t finished.
He grabbed her hand.
Stood up.
Pulled her toward him.
And before she could react, he kissed her right in the middle of the café.
People started clapping.
The waitress cheered.
Someone whistled.
Martha turned bright red.
“Sit down!” she whispered.
Earl laughed.
“Why?”
Then things became even worse.
Or better.
Depending on your perspective.
He swept everything off their table.
The syrup.
The napkins.
The sugar packets.
Everything.
Then pulled Martha onto his lap.
The entire restaurant erupted with laughter.
A teenager nearly choked on his orange juice.
The manager dropped a tray.
And poor Martha wanted the floor to swallow her whole.
Eventually she managed to drag Earl back into the truck and get him home.
The next week she called the doctor.
The moment he answered, she sounded completely panicked.
“Doctor, it was terrible!”
The doctor immediately became concerned.
“What happened?”
“Did he get sick?”
“No!”
she shouted.
“He grabbed me right there on the kitchen table!”
The doctor paused.
“Well, isn’t that what you wanted?”
“Maybe.”
Martha sighed dramatically.
“But now we can never show our faces in that café again!”
The doctor sat silently for a moment.
Then burst out laughing.
So hard he had to put down the phone.
As for Earl?
To this day, he still insists the pancakes were the best he’d ever tasted.
And every time someone mentions that little café in town, Martha changes the subject immediately.
Because some reputations take years to build.
And only one cup of coffee to destroy.
